Subscribe to download
Blorf | A purposefully terrible submarine

The worst ship ever built, named after the sound my dog made after barfing on a rug one time, was made with the goal of creating the worst submarine possible while still having something somewhat playable. After playing the BTE Humpback, I was awestruck at how mind-blowingly terrible it was. This inspired me to try to purposefully make something even worse and less playable. After a few failed attempts, here we are now.

• The layout has been engineered to be as annoying and inefficient as humanly possible.
  
  
• Only 2 of the guns actually shoot where you aim and do so without causing damage to the ship.
  
  
• The four coilguns on the bottom left are all connected to 1 periscope. They flail around depending on where you're aiming and are guaranteed to shoot in every direction other than where you want.
  
  
• The coil gun on the bridge aims and fires correctly. The only problem is the 3 coilguns in the middle of the ship are constantly moving back and fourth and they fire when the bridge coil gun fires. Whoever fires the bridge coilgun will at the very least get wet and at most get killed.
  
  
• The front railgun works but everyone in or near the reactor room gets electrocuted when its fired.
  
  
• The other railgun works but there is no angle you can aim at that won't result in the hull getting a huge hole shot in it.
  
  
• There are even 2 guns where the firing controls are on the outside of the ship. You cannot fire these guns without swimming outside.
  
  
• The only airlock letting you get in or out of the ship is in a really annoying place.
  
  
• There is an unlabeled closet that kills anyone who enters
  
  
• The medbay is in a ballast tank and the only way to enter is to get in through a hatch which is on the bottom of the ballast tank.
  
  
• The reactor does NOT supply enough current to fully power the ship. The best you can do is put 2 fuel rods in the reactor, put it on auto and enjoy the elongated battery life. The electric rooms DO have the neccesary controls to reroute power in a way you can charge the batteries though so you can't end up completely dead in the water just because the batteries run out.

Speaking of the electric system, the layout is all scattered around, there are 2 "central" junction box rooms but also junction boxes randomly scattered around the ship. Repairing the electric grid after a moloch encounter is guaranteed to be a massive pain in the ass or your money back.

Never at any point in testing has myself or anyone else ever managed to complete even 1 mission either online, solo or with any amount of bots. Will you be able to complete at least a single mission with this? Subscribe and try for yourself!

Q: ZOMG this submarine sucks ass. It's the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.
A: Thanks! It's supposed to be terrible. I worked hard to make it this bad.

Q: Oh my god where tf is the medbay?
A: it's in the rear ballast tank. The only entrance is through a hatch on the bottom, so prepare to get wet. Turning off the ballast pump will render the ship immobile so don't even bother or your captain will probably yell at you.

Q: Wow the reactor really sucks. How are we supposed to not run out of power?
A: The primary method of getting power is to charge the batteries in port through the docking hatch. The reactor merely serves to make your batteries last longer; the best you can do is throw 2 fuel rods into the reactor and set it on auto. If you do run out of battery, you aren't dead in the water. You can actually use the buttons in the junction box room to shut systems down until you have enough power to charge the batteries with the reactor.

Q: Wow you put a lot of effort into this. Do you make any actual good ships?
A: Yes. Check my workshop page. My most advanced submarine is the Carl Wheezer's Revenge. My most popular submarine is the Kessel