This is a full achievement guide for (the) Gnorp Apologue.
I thought I should do something while I let the game do its thing so here we go.

"Get your first gnorp"

Buy your first house from "The Stash". You can get shards in the stash by clicking on them, wow. If you're trying to get all the achievements for this game, you probably would of done this one and decided you wanted to get all the achievements before looking at this guide.

"Reach your first compression event"

To get this achievement you have to reach your first compression event. You can do that by getting a massive pile of shiny shards (a bar at the bottom of your shard pile tells you how close your getting to your next (or first) event) and then letting them all disappear and look all fancy. Whenever you do this be aware that you won't get the shards from said "massive pile of shiny shards".

"Prestige for the first time"

To prestige you have to get shards at a rate where you are almost producing as much as you are collecting. You could do this by always keeping the same amount of Slammers and Runners or other examples I'm too tired to think of. Just try and fill the bar up thats next to the 'Prestige' button, you might just be able to press it when you have no prestige points but I'm not resetting my save file to find out.

"Prestige and have a total of 10 talent points"

So if you want to know how to prestige look at the 'New beginning' achievement already in this guide.

Whenever you fill up the bar to the right of the 'Prestige' button you get one prestige point. What you have to do is get 10 of those and then hit the 'Prestige' button.

To get prestige points you have to balance out your output and collection. You can do this achievement over multiple prestiges.

'Brutally, viciously murder a drone before its time by clicking on it"

You can get this by buying the 'Robotics' building from the 'House of Shards' and then buying one Drone from the 'Robotics' building and clicking on it.

Simple as that.

"Have mountaineers collect the most"

You see the Collection box/bar on your screen somewhere? Good! What you have to do is get Mountain Climbers to the top of the collection list.

Ways to do this:

- Build a mountain right next to 'The Stash' so then the Mountaineers can chuck the shards in, would recommend Fire Arrows for Archers and Fire Breath for Slammers to make it easier

- Have the Runners go on break and kill all your drones otherwise you better have some damn good Mountaineers

"Have 10 bombers bathed in fire at the same time"

The Way I did it:

- Buy the "Fire Breath" upgrade for Slammers

- Buy "Fire Arrows" upgrade for Archers

- Buy Bathe in Fire upgrade for Bombers

- Keep the rock on fire at all times

- Buy a buncha bombers so 10 will hit the rock at about the same time

- They all get lit on fire, achievement done.

"This is your own fault."

Press F8 when you're in game.

You can also press Shift+8.

"Embed Gnorpcalibur in the rock"

What you have to do in this one is buy the "Shrine" building from "The House of Shards" and save up 9 Gnorps to find the chosen one, then all of the 9 Gnorps will try and pull out the sword, but only one will succeed. He will grab it out, walk over to the massive rock, swing at it, then jump up! And place it in the top heroically! Achievement done!

"Have 3 unspent Zybellium"

To get Zybellium you have to let a compression event happen (see "The Ground Trembles") and have the 'Rock Analysis Lab' purchased with the 'Zybellium Collection' upgrade. Just let the guy in the balloon collect 3 Zybellium in a row and boom! You got the achievement!

"Reach the first compression event within 5 minutes of clicking the rock"

It explains itself really, get a compression event (read "The ground trembles") within 5 minutes of prestiging or making a new save file. I did this one activating these prestige point perks:

- Runner Backstop - Project Constellation - Motivation - Reclamation Mitigation - Popcorn - Frostfire - Rocket Gatler - Bullet Breath - Future to the Back - Deals - Vulnerability Empowerment - Superhot - Strength in Numbers - Inspiration - Prestige Expedience - Zybellium Mastery - New Building - Extra Housing - Bathe in Fire - Combo Power

The ones that actually matter there are highlighted in bold. The main thing you have to focus on is firepower, but don't just buy into that! I got 10 Runners with a capacity of 2-7 throughout the 5 minutes and around 35 Slammers by the end. You just need more output than collection but still a decent collection rate.

"Beat (the) Gnorp Apologue"

You can beat the game by reaching compression 10 (doing "The Ground Trembles" 10 times without prestiging or resetting).

Here's some screenshots and guides from the Community Hub of people beating the game:


by https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/rmsephy/


by https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/PapaJohnsIsAFraud123456/screenshots/


by https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/thestevebat/screenshots/

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3116642975 by https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/awesomefresh/myworkshopfiles/?section=guides

"Acquire shards without having built the stash"

At the very start of the game, when you press the start button, the gnorps are rushing out to go build the stash. BUT! If you get shards to where the stash normally goes, you'll get this achievement. BUT! Why would you do all this? Why would you bother getting all the achievements in the first place?

...

BUT!

...

"Have 100 slammers"

Buy a buncha Slammers from the "Slam Club", nothin' else to it. Try and focus on getting as much housing as possible with the "Additional Housing" upgrade from "The Express" and "Extra Housing" upgrade you can buy with prestige points.

"Have a riflegnorp shoot grenade arrows"

To get this one you have to get the final unlock on the sides of the 'Talents Tablet'. When you have it unlocked, buy the upgrades 'Modern Warfare' and 'Future to the Back'. Then, buy the building that gives your gnorps guns from the 'House of Shards'. Next you want to buy 1 Riflegnorp and the Rocket Launcher upgrade. After that you should be able to select 'Modern Warfare' as one of the types of arrows you can use. Pick that and you're done!

"Coax successfully 20 times in a row"

BREAKING NEWS! In this achievement, you have to have prestige points! DUH DUH DUH! The whole gnorpconemy is going crazy over prestige points now!

Seriously though, you have to get to enough prestige points to unlock the 2nd row on the right side of the talents tablet after that, a light bulb will show up on top of the "Rock Analysis Lab" and you have to click it 20 times in a row without failing when the bulb turns white.

Guide here by Ragnarök (https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/profiles/76561198168173672/myworkshopfiles/?section=guides):

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3115108687

"Have 20 drones die at the same time"

Buy 20 Drones from the "Robotics" building which you can build from "The House of Shards". Once you have 20 Drones, start a compression event and they will all die.

ONLY WORKS WITH EXACTLY 20 DRONES

Guide here by Earlio:

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3119753088
by https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/earlio/myworkshopfiles/?section=guides

Also, https://truesteamachievements.com/gamer/Digital+Ember has posted guides on all the achievements on this page if you want one that goes more in-depth on the games overall mechanics. This was just something I made while I played the game so it's not the most in-depth thing out there. I just made this because there was a lack of an achievement guide on Steam.

Really though, check out this guide made by Digital Ember if you want a more detailed guide! https://truesteamachievements.com/game/the-Gnorp-Apologue/achievements

Made by EdwardTheWatzo

Additional Parts by:

- How to "Coax It" Guide
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/profiles/76561198168173672

- My Compression 10 Build (Spoilers) Guide
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/awesomefresh

- Y2K Guide
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/earlio

- Compression 10, Screenshot 1
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/rmsephy/

- Compression 10, Screenshot 2
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/PapaJohnsIsAFraud123456

Compression 10, Screenshot 3
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/thestevebat

Game by Myco (Myco)

If anyone wants links to their guides or screenshots removed, comment on this guide saying so and I'll do it as soon as I see the message.