Tropico 5

Tropico 5

Mystery of Marquis Island
Murasaki 5 Oct, 2015 @ 6:17pm
Review
I really wanted to like this. It was obviously a labor of love, and the creator was trying to create a story-driven scenario to get the player invested in the unique character of the island.

However:

1) The terrain makes the game nearly unplayable. I have to wonder if this was playtested for its frustration factor or of this was seen as "part of the challenge." While it is true that the island is "beautiful" and "expansive," a good 65% of that land is completely useless for development because of a lack of flat land in any large amount. Building roads from essential resources (mines) is nearly impossible: Tropico 5's road routing algorithms were bad enough without this procedurally generated nightmare of mixed elevations. I kill a good 15 minutes every time I build a mine (which I am always doing in a rush thanks to the plot-driven, extremely time-limited requirements to do so) trying to build even a horrible twisting ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of a trail anywhere near my road network, and in some cases, am forced to give up in frustration and restart as I realize my existing road network makes a connection to said ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ road impossible.
Oh, and the plot-driven, extremely time-limited "send an expedition to X" tasks are a hoot when my Palace troops spasm back and forth over the jagged terrain while the time ticks away, having apparently not learned how to handle more than one change in elevation in Basic Training.

I still have yet to figure out where, anywhere, ANYwhere on the map I can actually successfully build a second Dock (let alone a third and fourth one as demanded by the plot) that I can actually build a road to- oh, and I'll have to explore any such potential locations in the first place, which means convincing a single expeditionary force to actually make it that far across the map without falling down on the first grassy knoll and having a seizure.

2) The dialogue is incredibly intrusive. While the plot and story progression are interesting, they are conveyed through the less-than-ideal medium of A MILLION POP UP MESSAGES, sometimes happening WITHIN SECONDS OF EACH OTHER AND WITHOUT WARNING. These come one after the other while I'm dealing with the aforementioned ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ road building in 1), causing me to have to begin flailing a plotted road around on the map all over again after each message. The relentless frustration this causes quickly brings my interest in reading each subsequent wall of text towards zero. It also reminds me of the days of AIM, and my first boyfriend in high school sending a machinegun of IM's at an unresponsive screen until I put a brick through the windshield of his carcalmly turned off my computer.

3) The "decisions" usually aren't. Like voting in Federal elections in the United States, they're "the illusion of choice." In some cases, all decisions lead to the same outcome anyway, or aren't decisions at all, simply two slightly different variations on the same response that simply turns to the next page of plot while you shake your fist at what a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ your avatar seems to be. This wouldn't be such a big deal if there weren't SO DAMN MANY OF THEM, and if they weren't the difference between the game grinding to a screeching halt or you valiantly flailing around for another hour trying to build a road anywhere or invent the toilet bowl plunger. I'd rather just have the plot chug along and throw me objectives than spam me with non-choices that force me into decisions of governance that even the vanilla game doesn't.

4) I really, really wanted a falafel for lunch but the guy down the block didn't have any because no one ever orders them.
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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
Colonel Sandwich 3 Nov, 2015 @ 3:30pm 
I didn't even download this mod. But this review is friggin hysterical. 10/10 Would look at this mod just for this review alone.:steamhappy:
Murasaki 3 Nov, 2015 @ 4:51pm 
At yer service.

Originally posted by Jesus With A Mentos:
I didn't even download this mod. But this review is friggin hysterical. 10/10 Would look at this mod just for this review alone.:steamhappy:
NICO 10 Dec, 2015 @ 11:47am 
Originally posted by Murasaki:
At yer service.

Originally posted by Jesus With A Mentos:
I didn't even download this mod. But this review is friggin hysterical. 10/10 Would look at this mod just for this review alone.:steamhappy:
Great :tropicanstar:
GARASHTA 22 Apr, 2017 @ 9:15pm 
I mostly agree with the aforementioned comment concerning the quality of this review.
10/10, congratulations about your fine choice of words.
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Showing 1-4 of 4 comments
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