My engineers said it couldn't be done. "You can't cross breed a Spitter with a Boomer, they're completely different, it'll just kill them like last time, it won't work" well you know what? I don't care if it won't work! It's not my damn job to make it work...

The latest breakthrough in our Special Infected Modification Program: the lab boys found a way to make rubber non-toxic enough to be considered technically edible. Naturally the first thing we did was feed it to a bunch of Spitters to see what happened to ...

We got word from the guys over at CEDA that they had a few thousand Witches they wanted to get rid of. Told me they'd sell them at a discount if I purchased them in bulk. So I bought the whole lot. Every damn one. Lost about 90% of them in the design phase...

The Jockey modification program was a huge success. So much so that the eggheads in the lab suggested we expand our research to include the other infected variants. Our military contract for the Rocket Jockeys raked in around $75 Million. You know how many...

I won't lie to you, we created these Smokers entirely by accident. What we were trying to do was engineer a new Smoker variant that would spontaneously combust. Figured it'd be a good pun. Puns are great, they're a simple and highly efficient form of humou...

We've fed these Jockeys nothing but gunpowder, nitroglycerin and liquid hydrogen for a week straight. Most of them were killed by it. The ones that weren't killed and now ready to kill you. Once they grab hold of you all those chemicals we fed them will la...