"You hate jazz? You fear jazz! You fear the lack of rules!" Howard is very open and proud about being "a simple man" who doesn't follow crowds, fads or fashions, and instead has his own style of colourful and jazzy shirts and hats. He also favours tweed an...

“Goth Juice is the most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.” Vince was supposedly brought up by Bryan Ferry in a forest, where events similar to "The Jungle Book" occurred, including when apes tried to "steal his face" alt...

Naboo Randolph Roberdy Poberdy the Enigma is a Shaman from the planet Xooberon. He was sent to Earth by the King in order to protect a sacred amulet that can be used to activate the Fountain of Youth. Naboo is very helpful, wise and powerful but seems to a...

Bollo is a gorilla who grew up in the jungle with his friend Chinquo before going to live in the Zooniverse where he became good friends with Vince, as the two found they could speak with each other. He was stolen by Dixon Bainbridge to be mutilated and co...

Welcome to the zooniverse where all your dreams come true... niverse. I'm general manager Bob Fossil and I'm a human. Walk and talk with me; We see eye to eye huh? You and Me? I'm your boss man but I'm also your friend but I'm not your wife but we have mad...

I fell off the mountain ledge but luckily my fall was broken by a wolf. The wolf attacked me fortunantly I had a pistol hidden in my mustache. I shot him, but he was only wounded and took my hand... After fighting with the wolf I set off to find the egg of...

"You know nothing of the crunch. How dare you speak to me of the crunch. You've never even been to the crunch!" Saboo is a shaman, and a member of the Board of Shaman. He is also a DJ. Most of his appearences are with fellow shaman Tony Harrison, whom he f...

This is an outrage! I come fully equipped with a papoose! If you need to move me around I slot in the back like a peanut! If you are against the papoose system I have got a wheel that clicks into my chin like a skate! --------------------------------------...

Welcome to the Mirror World! I am Mr. Susan, guardian of the mirrors. What do you seek stranger? Ah, Limbo Bimbo! One of these mirrors does lead to limbo. BUT ONLY ONE! You must choose wisely for there are over 17 mirrors in the mirror world!! Well, no it ...

You ever drunk baileys from a shoe? I'm Old Grrrreeeegggggg ------------------------------------------- -Stats- Endurance: 1 Speed: 2 Melee: 1 Firearms: 1 Special Ability: Water Cannon Big Quest: Quest with a Twist -Traits- Antisocial Jack of Extra Trades ...

Once upon another time, there was a fox, and he was called Jerome. He lived in the woods, in Elderberry Wood. His friends were Nicholas the Tennis Rat and Dante the Racist Badger. They spent their days punting down the lazy rivers of Cambridge town. Occasi...

Do I look like a reasonable man to you, or a peppermint nightmare? Eels up inside ya Findin an entrance where they can Eels up inside ya Findin an entrance where they can Boring through your mind, through your tummy, through your anus, eels! Eels! Eels (x1...

What have we got here? Hey there little fella. Mmm. Little piece a’ chicken. What’s happening, boy? I’s the Spirit of Jazz. Yeah, baby I’ll make you famous. You wanna be on the wall? Look at this guy. Blind Barney Shortbread. Huh? What a player. I seen him...

It's all about experience. Have you ever had a mountain goat grab you by the scrotum and run away with it? Then sell it on ebay a day later. Huh? You ever been rohypnoled by a swan... woke up in cancun? You ever been to a key party with a herd of rhino? WE...

A fully grown kangaroo if attacked will lean back on its tail and using its hind legs disembowel its prey. An adult kangaroo can punch through solid steel. If a man was to fight a kangaroo he would be immediately killed. -----------------------------------...