Originally posted by Not_Default:

Originally posted by IDKBacon(ILY Dad):

>be me
>don't have a lot of money
>have disposable wardrobe
>be a master of ingenuity
>be a really fucking horny teenager
>frequent pornhub
>mom says: "Bacon, you know that belt that was a bit big on you"
>"yes"
>"I found it"
>ohshit.jpg
>"I gave it to goodwill"
>mfw I used that belt as a makeshift sex toy

Dam some kid gonna be happy when he gets that outa the bargin bin.

Like that kid (that is somehow bigger than me) wants my cum...

>be me
>don't have a lot of money
>have disposable wardrobe
>be a master of ingenuity
>be a really fucking horny teenager
>frequent pornhub
>mom says: "Bacon, you know that belt that was a bit big on you"
>"yes"
>"I found it"
>ohshit.jpg
>"I gave it to goodwill"
>mfw I used that belt as a makeshift sex toy

Originally posted by Not_Default:

So here something that happened to me today
>Be me
>Be working a summer job at this one art studio
>Art studio has all these summer programs meant for kids 5-10
>My job is to tard wrangle
>Spot fellow tard wrangler
> 9/10 asian 3.14
>Walk over to her and try to think of something to start a convo
>Ask her if she's having a hard time with the kids
>She laughs and we hit it off
>Omfg I didn't act like a spaz I'm actually talking to a girl
>She turns out to be a girl gamer
>9/10 suddenly turns into infiniti/10
>About to ask for her number and be smooth as fuck about it
>See one of the tards reaching for his backpack out of the corner of my eye
>Itsnottimeforsnakesyet.mp3
>Turn to face the kid to tell him its not snack time yet
>I see this kids backpack
>It's the infinity gauntlet for the new avengers movie
>This nigga lights up and all that good shit
>Bad joke 50% loaded
>I ask the kid if the backpack can play the snapping noise from the movie
>Bad joke 75% loaded
>Kid says yes and plays snapping noise
>Bad joke 100% woke
>Ask him if when he clicks his fingers after getting all the stones if it would wipe out half of his preschool
>Moviereferance.mov
>Asian chick looks at me
>Asian chick tells me how she has family that was involved a school shooting
>Asian walks away after a tard
>We haven't talked since then
>Mfw

Whats the damage boys?

Massive
Massive damage detected... Possibly detrimental to future...

IDKBacon's damage detector: disengaged...
Ouch...

Originally posted by Not_Default:

Originally posted by Tidester HFGL:

you guys are fucked up

All who ponder around this dark corner of steam are fucked. You are no exeption.

This is true

>be me
>live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Pennsylvania
>be really fucking paranoid
>hear creaking sounds from downstairs
>grab a rifle from your closet
>go downstairs to check on everything
>find absolutely nothing
>walk back upstairs
>mom comes through the front door
>mom asks what you're doing
>"making sure there no intruders"
>mom grabs a shotgun from same closet
>ohfuckingshit.PNG
>get shot in face by your own shotgun

Originally posted by Doomie™:

>we excuse ourselves from the party temporarily to buy a shit at a local store

Buying shits...